Like so many people I have stacks of paper that I don’t know what to do with. In the last few days I have sorted through and thrown out unwanted paper work and miscellaneous stuff. All this industry has had the effect of clearing out my head as well. Getting my estate in order and not leaving a mess for others when I die seems quite important.
I am redoing my will and the Transfer on Death and Power of Attorney forms as well. I did all this originally in the months following my husband’s death two years ago but my decisions were hasty and now need a thoughtful redoing. Not having family means I am passing my assets to my church and a couple of friends
I don’t know if my death will be suicide or a natural one but in any event these preparations are just the usual course of events for any 72-year-old. When my husband died two years ago he left nearly a thousand pages of writing much of which was personal to him. But among those pages were a few important ones that made me glad I had sifted through it all and not just tossed it out. I don’t want others to have to go through this when I am gone.
Since I have no family or old friends here in Albuquerque it has been especially difficult asking someone to assume my Power of Attorney in the event I can’t make my own decisions. While I have tried to specify what interventions I would want taken if I am seriously ill or harmed in an accident, there are still situations where this person might have to make a life or death decision. Since most of my friends in Albuquerque are older than I am and might not survive me, I decided to ask a young man (he’s 35) I have known for a couple of years to become the designee. While our interactions have been casual they have also been honest and reached deep. I shocked him when I worked up the courage to ask him but after he thought it over he agreed to do it. What a great gift to me.
As a hospice volunteer for several years I saw first hand the kind of messy paperwork so many leave behind. So often people keep papers with the thought that they might need them someday. In my case I have found solicitations for money from charities and political organizations that I thought I might be able to give to but are now months and even years out of date. I found ads for concerts I would like to have gone to but happened months ago. Also I found letters from former health insurance providers that were out of date or unacted upon.
So cleaning up, sorting out and updating is my gift to the living once I am gone. Much as I wouldn’t invite someone to dinner at my home if it were a mess while I am alive so I also don’t want to leave a mess to those who must carry on after I go. I guess that this is a posthumous application of the Golden Rule.